The Directors Cut Radio Show and Podcast

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:25:52 — 24.6MB)

Merkin Claus the Holiday Merkin Man and his Alpaca Friend Rudy!

Merry Christmas you Christians! (and any other faith that celebrates the birth of Jesus) Happy Hanukkah you Jews! (which include Dan’s girlfriend) Happy Solstice to those who like to piss the religious off! This week we celebrate capitalism by bringing a strange hairy capitalist, who is both trying to make a buck and see your girlfriend naked at the same time. Merkin Claus visits our studio for a little song, a little dance, and to corrupt Ollie’s nephew. Alpaca fur for one and all. We have also included the wonderful links to our songs so you have to download and play at your next holiday party. They are not for kids, nor are they for most adults either!

Here are the new Holiday Classics. (right click to download)

The Merkin Man Song

Rudy The Red Alpaca

Debra the Hooker and Ollie the Tranny

Debra’s Christmas Song

I Saw Mommy Kissing Merkin Claus

Have Yourself a Hairy Little Christmas

The Night With A Mistress

Vote For

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:28:34 — 25.4MB)

The Directors Cut Radio Program has designed a self help course for those who need to make it through the holidays. It’s a very simple 12 step program.

Step 1
Forget The Holidays

Step 2
Forget the people you would celebrate the holidays with.

Step 3
Buy yourself something you’d enjoy.

Step 4
Rent a Davenport pick of the week movie.

Step 5
Find a lovely lady/guy to watch this Davenport pick with. If you can’t find someone, come up with jokes about the film so you can send them to us.

Step 6
Plan on making love to this person you watched this Davenport pick with. If you don’t make love to them that night, make sure you play a game of sexual solitaire.

Step 7
Grab some alcohol, don’t drink too much, and take a nap.

Step 8
Realize the nap was refreshing and treat yourself to a little walk in the park. If a park is too far away, or you hate walking. Grab some 4 wheelers and drive them vigorously through the park. If this is illegal in your current location. Replace 4 wheelers with big wheels and enjoy acting like an 8 year old. (but try not to wet your pants)

Step 9
Wet your pants.

Step 10
Once you’ve realized that wetting your pants is like a warm, soon to be rashy treat, take a shower and relax.

Step 11
Realize no matter how embarrassing your sex life is… it’s not as bad as Ollie’s.

Step 12
Listen to The Directors Cut Radio Show and have at least one laugh. If you don’t laugh. Please return to step 1.

GET EXCITED FOR NEXT WEEK YOU WILL MEET THIS GUY!

Merkin Claus

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:26:57 — 25.0MB)

So this week we were going to review the Christmas flick with John Leguizamo. But instead, Ollie decided to fuck everything up and go see The Day the Earth Stood Still instead. Dan boycotted because he knew it was going to be filth and didn’t see anything. (he did watch Cool Hand Luke on Blueray and that kicked ass) We count down the Top Ten Movies All About Christmas, Dan also got cornered into recommending a crappy Christmas movie. So life is usual here at The Directors Cut Studio. So get excited for a very new and exciting Christmas show very soon!

We love you!
The Directors Cut Staff

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:27:54 — 25.2MB)

The Directors Cut loves shortnin, shortnin,
The Directors Cut loves shortnin bread.

So send us some BITCHES!!!

Anyhoo this week we review PUNISHER! Davenport is out, but Debra reminds us of Ollie’s first girlfriend… and it may be you, and you don’t even know it!

And here is a video that depicts Ollie’s life

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:27:16 — 81.0MB)

This week we review the new Baz Luhrmann Movie Australia. We count down the top ten movies with a Country/Continent in it’s title. Davenport tells us about a special scene in Home Alone where you can get up close and personal with Macaulay Culkin. Plus, Davenport gives us a special moment and his opinion on your listener mail and a Spanish pick from 1974.